The Necessity of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of bitterness. It will set your heart free to love again.

The longer we live, the more we may be hurt. Jesus warned His disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come (Luke 17:1).

Life is full of hurts, and it always will be. As long as you live, you will be hurt, offended, and disappointed. But you need not be alarmed. You can learn to rise above life's hurts.

Bitterness is dangerous to healthy Christian living. A bitter attitude will eat away the vitality of your spiritual life and plague your soul like a spiritual cancer. Bitterness destroys lives, families, marriages, friendships, and even churches. Nevertheless, there is a powerful cure for this dreadful scourge. That cure is forgiveness.

When we learn to forgive others, we can rise above the hurts and disappointments of life. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful forces in a believer's life. It can melt the hardest heart and clear the most clouded conscience. When used properly, forgiveness paves the way for reconciliation. It is the key to God's abundant blessings and unlocks the soul to the work of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus told His disciples how to handle the problem of hurt by learning to forgive. He said, Take heed to yourselves: if thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him (Luke 17:3). We have two obligations when we are offended. The first is to rebuke. This is not to be a verbal blast, but a statement of honesty - "What you said really offended me." It should be given sincerely and gently in the same spirit in which you would want someone else to rebuke you. Second, we are to forgive those who repent (change their mind and actions) as a result of our rebuke. Remember, forgiveness and reconciliation is the goal of any rebuke. It takes a great deal of spiritual maturity to give and receive such a rebuke with the right heart attitude.

An unforgiving spirit. In the parable of the Unforgiving Servant, the Scripture clearly states that an unforgiving spirit is the mark of an unconverted soul. Though forgiven a 10,000-talent debt (equivalent to 10 million dollars), the servant vindictively held a 100-pence debt (less than a dollar) against his fellow servant. In the parable, the unforgiving servant was described as "wicked" and he was thrown out by his master.

True Christians are known by their forgiving spirit. We who have been forgiven a lifetime of sins by God, ought to be willing to forgive the sins and wrongs others do to us.

Jesus went as far as to say that we should forgive seven times a day if necessary. To which the disciples said to the Lord, Increase our faith (Luke 17:5). Jesus responded by telling them that if they had faith even as tiny as a grain of a mustard seed they could remove mountains. He meant that they did not need more faith; they simply needed to exercise the faith they already had. Every believer has all the faith he or she needs in order to forgive others.

Selfishness is the root of an unforgiving spirit. Selfish people are easily offended. They are quick to get angry and justify their unforgiving attitude. They think the world revolves around them. They never see themselves as God actually sees them.

Excuses for not forgiving. In our selfishness, we invent a myriad of excuses for not forgiving those who hurt us:

Revenge. I enjoy hating him. Besides, he deserves it.

Anger. I'm too upset to forgive him. He has hurt me too deeply.

Fear. If I forgive him, I'll just get hurt again.

Pride. I was right. I didn't do anything wrong; he did.

Emotion. I'm too hurt. I don't feel like forgiving.

Guilt. I can't even forgive myself, let alone him.

Worry. If I try to forgive him, I'll be misunderstood.

The ultimate excuse is I can't forgive. "I can't" really means "I won't" forgive. But if the Spirit of God lives within you, you can learn to forgive anyone. God always empowers us to do what is right. His grace is sufficient to enable us to forgive. When we do, we confirm what Christ did for us at the Cross when He died for our sins so that we might be forgiven.

The powerful and positive force of forgiveness will unlock your embittered spirit and set the power of God free in your soul. The apostle Paul said, Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice (Ephesians 4:31). He went on to say that these negative emotions were to be replaced by being kind, tender, and forgiving (Ephesians 4:32).

Asking forgiveness. It takes a mature Christian to admit his failures and ask forgiveness. Immature and selfish people can never seem to bring themselves to do it. Sadly, they continue living a defeated life because of guilt and bitterness. But the solution to their struggle is only a step away. Seeking forgiveness means admitting our failures and trying to correct them.

If you know (or even suspect) that you have wronged someone, go to him and ask his forgiveness. Don't wait for him to come to you. Take the first step. Don't offer any excuses (it will offend him further). Tell him you know you have wronged him. Tell him you are sorry, and ask him to forgive you. It is that simple, and it can make all the difference in your life.

Granting forgiveness. Sometimes, granting forgiveness is more difficult than asking for it. Somehow we want to think the other person should have to ask, but he does not deserve to be forgiven. Jesus repudiated that idea when He told his disciples to forgive everyone who repents, every time.

Peter had once heard Jesus say to forgive seven times a day (see Luke 17:4). But this time He said, seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22). I am sure the Lord did not mean that we are to keep count all the way to 490. He meant that we should be willing to forgive again and again, until forgiveness becomes the habit and character of our lives. If you want to learn how to get along with others, learn how to forgive.